Hello all..
Long time no update..
I title the entry up and down.. mostly because lately I have felt like I have been on and up and down roller coaster ride..
I have been pressured to act in ways that I should not have ..
I have done some things that I should not have..
I tell you what.. I feel like World War III is going on inside me..
I am constantly being tempted .... I guess I am kinda to blame to.. Considering I find myself in situations where Temptation is easily knocking at the door.. Most of the time I don't answer.. But sometimes.. its just hard.. you know?
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I started hanging out with Kayli.. Really been trying to witness to her..because all and all she is a bit confused.. but I think me just being a friend is really helping her.. I think she is really confused by my behavior.. Meaning I am not perusing her sexually.. I really think she finds that odd.. and for that reason.. she is attracted to me.. and what I am all about.. I am not pushy.. I don't force anything.. and I am completely chilled.. She can digg it.. fo sho..
So about a month ago.. it was raining late one night.. not to late.. around 10:30 or 11 and yeah I got the call from her.. I said we should go shoot some pool.. so we went to Arc.. accept we didn't play pool.. We actually just sat in the parking lot.. it wasn't till we got to Arc that the Lord.. put me there for a reason.. I felt this after I spilled the Gospel on this girl.. I don't know how it came up..why it came up.. but God made it come up.. so after that.. You better believe I been praying for this girl..
I don't feel like I want a intimate boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with this girl.. I think though feelings are going on her side.. and it doesn't help when I send mixed signals sometimes.. but once again.. sometimes I get into situations were I just lose myself in this moment.. and I tend to send a signal that I shouldn't be sending.. I have gotten better at this ove r the past week.. If I truly have those feelings for her later.. I will act on them.. otherwise I am just going to be a friend.. a loving friend ya?
How about this Christmas too.. my gosh The Lord has blessed me left and right.. up and down.. I feel like I used a Game Genie and the Lord was just like alright.. No seriously the past few days I have been dropped with blessings.. Last night I went out to the Church at like 2 A.M. and just prayed and gave thanks.. and just took that time to really talk to God.. I had to get away from everything that was distracting me.. and that worked.. I did it again tonight..
I'm really praying for direction.. were The Lord really wants me to be.. I don't have a clue.. so what should I do.. just act.. and hope that is what God wants me to do? I reck n I will give it a go..
I really don't want to do networking in all honesty.. I don't feel like I am really cut out for it..haha that's rich right.. Just graduated and i feel like it just isn't for me.. Your thinking "Kevin that is horrible, not funny" Actually I am not worried.. I don't feel like its up to me to decide anymore.. So we will see what happens..
I might go back to school..
I might shoot a movie..
I might get a job in networking..
I might get into missionary work..
Whatever I do.. I will keep running the race to Christ..
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Love and Grace
Kevin Catt.