For sale on eBay: Obama's 'Kenyan birth certificate'
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This comes to no suprise to me..
They got a one up on everyone..
Let’s begin with the words
If you are going to do what you are doing, don’t do it here, find somewhere else to live.
This is pretty big deal, almost as if you were watching Degrassi and Spike caught Emma doing drugs, she got so ridiculous she just kept disrespecting her mom, stealing from her, abusing her mentally almost to the point were she said listen, I love you.. you are my daughter.. but you have got to go..
Basketball Diaries with Leonardo Decaperio, he was all into drugs and finally had a coke condition he couldn’t control.. his mom gave him the boot..
For me its helping someone.. well helping two people..
One of those people being my Dad…
Cue back story..
Time: childhood years 1994-2003
Setting: I moved a lot so around
Story: Growing up I never really had the dad I wanted to have, my dad was an alcoholic, and I can say he was really never there for me or my sister. I watched a lot of TV back in my younger years and I always watched shows like Step By Step and all these movies were the dad played a key roll in bringing up the kids. I would watch the dad go play baseball with his son, take him fishing, take him to the movies, etc. I never knew what that was like, I had a dad that would take me to the movie store to get a videogame, or a dad that would turn the TV on for me while he went out and did yard work.
When my parents split up for good I would go to my dad’s house and hang out with him. We would rent movies, and that is about it. I didn’t talk to my dad about a lot of things, for one I wasn’t really comfortable. As I got older I became uncomfortable at some of the conversations he would have with me. I don’t want to mention what they were because that isn’t really necessary, just know as a 13 or 14 year old kid it was uncomfortable to see him acting the way he was.
He never really made the phone calls, I always did, I was the one who always wanted to spend time with him, I wanted to get closer to him, he just didn’t really feel all that up for it. He was never there for me. Looking back on my life and the times I suffered though he was never there to comfort me, to give me advice, to bring me up, he never did any of that. I remember I was in the hallway crying because I didn’t have a caring dad, my mom cried with me. My dad had all he needed and that was his whiskey, which was the reality of the situation. He chose alcohol over his kids, not only did he do that but he also manipulated my feelings, my sisters, and my moms. He would call and I would feel so sorry for him that he was alone, that he was going though the things he was going though. I was so upset when I heard how miserable he was.
I spent a lot of years feeling sorry for him. As I got older I realized that James K Catt did all this to himself. I wasn’t feeling sorry for him now; I was feeling angry at him now. I remember one day I was at
I didn’t care anymore I let him go and subtracted him from my life. I kept in touch with him a little bit but honestly not that much, I spend months not talking to him and even longer not seeing him. He can have his misery pit and leave me out of it; yep that is how I played it.
Then I came to know Jesus Christ, and that all changed
I started talking to my dad in a new way, a way he was quite familiar with. I planted God all over him and he felt it bad. My dad used to be a Christian, knows the bible very well, he just drifted away.. It is had to see where he stands with Christ, I don’t know if he really believes everything or what. He saw what was happening to me and that reminded him of what happened to him back when he was saved.
I have been praying that my Dad would find God or God would just give him some spiritual awakening. I prayed that prayer for a long time. I still do pray that prayer because I know though God anything is possible.
Lately I have been talking to my dad, one night I even went up to his house at 2:00 in the morning just to talk to him, I don’t know what it was.. I was with LaDawn and I was thinking of somewhere we could go.. and it just popped into my mind my dad, I was just going to go and maybe leave a note or something.. he ended up being up though.. almost like God had planned it.
He even told me he usually isn’t up that late but he was that night for some reason.. hah
That night I was on fire, even though at the time my faith was a little shaky I still went it there and got deep with him. He was drunk, but the impact was still felt.. I had not seen my dad before this for I would say at least 5 months maybe longer. He had lost a lot of weight and looked different to me, not healthy. It took me by surprise but he would have never known by how well I played it off.
About a month or two later we are in the now, I feel like my prayers might just be getting answered, his girlfriend is being convicted and is turning to God, very slowly, and my Dad doesn’t want to lose her in his life so he told me he is giving up drinking. That is hard to believe, but if God is at work here I can believe it. What I hope to happen is she comes to Christ and redeems that relationship and then my dad sees that and comes to terms again with the truth. I don’t think that’s what he thinks is going to happen but that is just what I am hoping.
I talked to his girlfriend a few nights ago, really told her why God made us, our reason here, and how easy it is to come to know the Lord, I gave her some tips on how to strengthen her faith, (knock on wood) and I told her I would pray with her. I told her to spend just 10 mins a night really talking to God, and just read a few chapters in John, if she would just call out with a little bit of faith things would start to change. Well I talked to her tonight and it didn’t seem like things were going smooth but I wouldn’t know cause I had to end the conversation, my mom had came outside and demanded that I hand the phone over to her and this is where fathers day gets sticky..
My mom got very emotional; she was very upset at what I have been doing. She doesn’t like me taking to my dad because she knows he has brought lots of pain in both of our lives, she doesn’t want me to get hurt. I can see that somewhat. She said it was disrespectful to her, that I was talking to both of these people, one being my father.
Let me just say that after I came to know God, He did something in my life; He gave me strength in patience and willingness to forgive. I explained this to my mom; she said she didn’t have that with my dad.
I told my mom I really think God is working in this situation, there is to much happening here it seems like for it to not add up. I told her I am just trying to help him. She couldn’t understand it, she really couldn’t see it. I am 22 years old and I am not going to get hurt by my father like I used to, she doesn’t see that.
She feels like she is going to be brought into it and it is just going to add stress in her life or something. She really cut my heart a few times I am not going to lie, I have never made a scene the way I did. I lost control and started throwing things.. and then walked out of the house and just went to the backyard I couldn’t hang.. I am just trying to help my dad and I am being condemned for it. Cody came outside and offered some words of encouragement. He is a real dude and I love him.
I told her I wouldn’t talk about it anymore but she took it a step further. She said if I am going to try to handle this stuff or help with it at least, I need not do it at her house, meaning she wants me to move out. I froze at that point, I got nowhere else to go. My uncle did offer I could stay at his house, but I have heard this before..
Conclusion: I don’t think she meant what she said but man.. what an emotional rollercoaster ride.
:I have come to find out some other things.. that the girl my dad is dating is not a fan of my mom.. that could have been what triggered the whole thing.. I love her.. and she loves me.. she loves me so much she doesn’t want to see my dad to hurt me emotionally.. regardless of what he has done to me.. I still got love for him.. and I want him to be happy..
That is the unconditional love that God brings to you.. maybe things will change this time around.. maybe they won’t.. The good news is she isn’t going to kick me out of the house.. she just doesn’t want anything to do with it.. which.. I don’t blame her.. so I am not going to mention anything to her about it anymore..
I love my Mom so much.. She is wonderful.. God has really blessed me..
Back when I was really young I tended to go on all sorts of adventures, I remember as a kid I was always outside doing something, the only time I was when the weather was to extreme to go outside, at that point I would get my fix of Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis. I road a bike, walked, ran, water gun wars, I often just would go to the playground and just think about things. I had really good friends growing up, we shared some great times.
One thing I would do is reflect on the past, I was always thinking about past memories, especially spending a year in Grayville
Emotions are a gift from God; I love what God has blessed me with, the ability to Love. He works in ways I will NEVER understand. I am really started to grow as a Christian I feel, I have made a ton of mistakes but who doesn’t honestly? God led me to a small group for my spiritual help last Tuesday. It really is crazy how it happened.. I was going to the truth project over at cfc, it was advertised in the bulletin so I figured I check it out. Thing about it was the truth project wasn’t meeting at cfc.. I didn’t know this..
So I get to CFC and I go to the Gym and see David in the café. I catch up with him for a few and ask him if he by chance new where the truth project was meeting. He didn’t know but he did see some guys coming in.. well I looked all over the place so eventually I went upstairs and ran into a men’s small group, the age range was all over the place and I saw Fred there so I said hey, and asked if this is where the truth project was being held.
One man said no, but we did the truth project in this group and it was great..
I left and went outside and called the guy in charge.. he didn’t answer but I left a message .. then I sat down in a chair by the elevator and I prayed.. I thought about the circumstances here.. and then I said Lord if this is what you want for me okay ill go in.
So I went back to the group, they invited me to hang out and kick it with them. Turns out that they were starting a fresh course and were taking a vote on what to study.. also they don’t usually meet at CFC but they did this particular week. One of the guys said if I stayed in the group he would give me the truth project, plus I would get to join in on there study. At that point everything added up.. I was suppose to be here.. We voted and the vote turned to a study on James.. haha God called me out big time and I responded..
I’m happy about that.. really I am everyone is really cool and I am looking forward to really getting into this.. that isn’t it though God spoke to me though David as he usually did tonight..
Don’t do things that will allow others to stumble in there walk.. Something I have picked up from the message.. also The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love that’s Galatians 5:6
I hung out with Aaron and Kaliegh and Brittany and then Bill came by for a bit as well at Kaliegh’s house. I saw Kathy and caught up with her as well. It was one of the best evenings I have had in a long time. I felt like I was reliving some ol times, I missed those times and it makes me smile that we could all get together and kick it, relax and just have a good time. KJ went to
It was a good night, I about passed out on the couch.. and ended up going into work at 4 A.M and working till 8 A.M.
I have been faced with a few decisions, they aren’t easy ones to choose, one of them would probably send me on an adventure that would be one of those never forgetting experiences.. the other one well it’s a mystery because I never know what is going to happen..
I have backslide pretty far..
I got some things I need to work on..
Lord help me..
"I was deeply moved.. shaken.. It almost felt like I was him, or her"
That is how I felt.. when I walked in the life of someone with HIV/Aids.. Someone who didn't have all that we have.. someone who was suffering.. fearing for there lives day by day and not knowing who would be there for them.. not knowing any hope.. not hearing any good news..
It was about two or three weeks ago..maybe a month.. I was at CFC on a Sunday morning.. For some reason I didn't get to make it out on Saturday night so I went into the 9 A.M service that Sunday morning. This was probably about the time I started backsliding on my faith.. I was update but seems like Church always does good.. It always brings me in a state of peace .. After the service I went up to the Media desk to get a Sermon for LaDawn, and then someone called out my name.. I looked and she was seeing if I wanted to volunteer to for the World Visons Experience: AIDS.
Mike had made an announcement and had a video played during one of the evening services.. I was somewhat moved but honestly at the time I was worried about other things.. This was when Swine Flu was all over the place and people were freaking out.. Needless to say I was not to focused on Swine Flu..or Aids..
So I took about five seconds to think about it and said sure I will help I can build and that would seem like a good time.. So I signed up to help setup the exhibit Saturday, May 30th at 8:00 A.M.
The days would play out.. I did not think to much about it the next two weeks or something.. Then I got a call from Zach Mullet talking about going to Earth Crisis show in Louisville..
It almost slipped my mind that he was talking about going to this show back in March one night when we were chatting right after Service. I said ya I am down to go.. I love Earth Crisis and Louisville was not a bad drive at all from Evansville.. May 26th we headed out.. it was a interesting trip up.. we got a bit detoured but we managed to make it to Uncle Pleasents.. I spot Lee right when I get into the venue area and say hey.. Apparently there were only three bands playing instead of 5 and 1 had alreadly played so we caught walls of jerichos set.. which kicked.. Female vocals in a hardcore band is hot... no doubt..
So I grab a coke.. Drink up and get ready for Earth Crisis! The first song they played was off there new album.. it kicked! After that they played All Out War off there first ablum.. BRUTAL .. Then some guy ran into a guy and a guy ran into.. hit me just the right spot.. cause as I fell so did my shoulder.. Fell right out of socket..
Since this has happend 8 times before I knew what was going on.. Yet I still managed to have that face like I was about to die.. Clayton Long knows this face best.. I remember 1123.. It was the 2nd time Outbreak had came to town... Straight and Alert was playing and it was the first time they did a hardcore fast verison of Dirty Deeds by AC/DC. Well I love AC/DC so you know I was running around crazy doing stage dives and fallen into people..
Brad Long got on the floor.. and lifted his back up.. I ran towards him and jumped off his back.. I went so far that I flew over the crowd that I was suppose to fall on.. hit my shoulder against Adam Knobletts amp and there we have it.. the 2nd time I dislocated my shoulder.. Clayton fell on me and had this look in his eyes that he was about to kill me.. then he realized I was in shock and helped me up..
Anyway.. So at that point I make my way out of the venue.. and eventually make it back to the car.. Zach drove us back and LaDawn took me to get it put back in.. as you know..
So now I got a bum shoulder and I really can't work at building the World Vison stuff.. on top of that I had to go into work that morning at 4 and work till 8.. So I called CFC and was just like I'm sorry I disclocated my shoulder and can't help.. but I can volenteer to work the experience.. She set me up with Wednesday June 3rd I said cool..
While all of this was going on I had been praying for the Lord just to use me.. Nothing makes me more happy then when God uses me for whatever He wants me to do..
That morning I went in at 9:00 to train.. I hadn't slept the night before because I thought I had to work.. even though they called me off.. I had also been at Bill Burkes most the night.. so by the time I did get tired.. I just said whatever because it was almost time to go..
When I heard what World Vison was all about I started feeling really excited.. I don't know what it was but I hadn't felt this way for a while..Once we were shown what World Vision was about we went back to the Exhibit and got our positions .. I was Bouncer.. which sounds like someone that would throw you out but no.. It was signing people into the exhibit..
Before we started work we went though.. one of the four people that you can go to see.. I went though with a open mind.. but once I put those headphones on.. and stepped into Aferica.. Something happend..
I almost felt as if I was this child.. that was the whole point.. I put myself and my family in the situation that this poor kid was going though.. and it gave me chills.. it touched my heart.. I then realized.. that my life.. what I have.. oh my gosh.. What a jerk I have been not to apperciate what I have..
By the time I made it though the whole thing.. I was changed.. I felt God really putting this on my heart..
I then thought about my life.. What God has done in it.. He has done so much.. He has blessed me so much.. My life would not be anything without him.. I thought about the job He brought to me.. and I thought.. you know what .. I am doing this.. The first child I saw when I left was the one I picked.. Her name is Marion.. and I am now sponsering her.. It feels great to do be doing this.. I know God will use my Money to really bless this child and the community to where she lives..
The whole experience has really gave me a new mindset.. and its helped me grow.. What a blessing..
God works in amazing ways =)
Right now chilling at Billy's talking about Samuel, his two wives thing...
Today has been interesting I must say.. I went to the library and checked out a Sopranos Soundtrack, a Brian Adams CD, and a Book influencing about Jesus. Pretty sweet stuff.. I also ran into someone that I know that works at a Gas Station.. apparently he is going though some hard times.. Pray for him and his marriage, he has two kids and his wife is just constantly trying to bail on the whole deal after 10 years.
I felt kind of intimidated to talk to him at first, but I broke that.. which doesn't happen to often, usually when I feel that way I just shrug is off and keep walking but finally I just said okay I don't know whats up here but I am going to talk to this guy. Maybe this is God talking to me, maybe all those times I ignored that feeling it was him saying, "Go talk to him, see whats up, you probably can encourage him in some way or another."
Before I went out today I did pray that God would use me in one way or another.. Pretty sure that was it.. Seems like every time I did pray for that God wanted to use me.. but for some reason I just bailed.. I am going to change that up real quick starting today.. today was good.. tomorrow is a new day.. :-)
I talked to my mom last night.. Real deep one on one .. with some assist by Cody.. it really got me thinking about some of the emotions I have been feeling, and how to realistically handle the situation.. I kind of put my emotions in check with my brain..
life is getting better again..
I just don't know what He wants me to do.. just yet..
Jaws is classic movie.. One of my personal favs from the 70's.. Spielberg Classic
Starcraft II pre-order.. Oh man I can't wait till November!
So I went to get some books from the library like a few weeks ago and I saw this number to a dentistry, that's crazy because I need teeth work done bad.. My left Wisdom tooth is like gone, and I am kinda nervous because I feel like there is a hole in my gum or something..
God made it abundantly clear I believe.. I just got to act on this..
Work is going smooth I suppose, these hours though just make my social life nothing.. Considering the people I hang with have day jobs or are out in the day.. I am at home usually sleeping my days away just so I can prep up for work that night. I have to go in tonight at midnight which I did not see coming but I was just like alright..
I was suppose to hang out with Abbi yesterday but I had to cancel so I could get some sleep.. I went to bed around 5ish and woke up at little after 10 and that was it off to races again. Showered put on the dockers and tie and ran out the door.. Thortans run followed by work.
Went to CVS after that and picked up some razors and other things. I chatted with the perfume and makeup lady for about ten mins. She has good taste and she sold me on some good smelling stuff.. Ran by great american bagal and grabbed some grub followed by Showplace.. Chatted with Debbie for a while and left a bagal for LaDawn.. I thought "you know nothing starts the day like a nice delious bagal.." So hopefully that got her day going the way she wanted it too..
Home life is alright.. I feel like my uncle is getting better and we actually went to metro christian center last sunday. Woah it was intense but not as intense as Good Sheaperd was yesterday, I have never seen such energy in a church, it reminded me of the movie churches you see in the Movies, cept this was real. No doubt the Holy Spirit was everywhere.. Almost made me get up and break it down.. But at that point I didn't want to draw attention to myself. My whole family pretty much actually got baptized by the Pastor who used to have a church in Princeton.. He got away from my sight after the service so I didn't get a chance to talk to him.. But I will fo sho..
After the service I met a guy named mark, who introduced me around.. I just started talking and pretty soon I ran into a guy named Neil, we probably talked for about 36 1/2 mins or something... Real good dude, I think we are going to kick it sometime..
So I think I will go to CFC on Saturday Night and Good Shepard on Sunday.. I like these two churches that much..
I might hit up small group tonight if I get up in time.. We will see what happens there..
Oh yeah I dislocated my shoulder at the Earth Crisis show in Louisville.. this will be number 9! lol I shouldn't laugh but man I suck at life when it comes to my shoulder... Zach Mullet drove us home.. but that wasn't very fun considering he kept like driving off the side of the road onto that bummpy pavement that is suppose to wake you up.. either that or he was over the line.. I was a bit nervous but I kept focus on keeping my arm comfortable for the ride home.. Somehow by the gace of God I didn't suffer to much.. In fact I almost fell asleep until I felt a sharp pain..
LaDawn being the good friend she is took me to ER.. Witnessed me doped up on Morphine and probably heard me say things I probably wouldn't care to remember.. I hope she doesn't think I forgot about the IPOD because I am still buying it lol. If you are reading this LaDawn, I be buying that IPOD soon so shine it up and get it ready for me =)
Drag Me to Hell was a Sam Rami instant classic, Billy would marry that movie if it were a Female fo sho..
I have no idea were God is leading me, but I'm just going with it.. He knows my heart and I hope he has big plans for me in the future. I been reading the purpose driven life and it is getting interesting..
As tired as I am I don't want to go to bed..
But I think I will
P B W Y
-Kev