Running The Race

Interesting Events..

My cousin Herb Fiester got in touch with me about a week ago and through a pitch to me on a System Administrator position at the company he works for. ProTrans International is the company. The company is actually located right outside of Indianapolis but its still considered to be in Indianapolis. LaDawn and myself took the 3 hour roadtrip over there this past Monday for the interview, which lasted aprox 2 hours or so.

I met both the System Admins, who both are named Justin.. Really cool guys.. I felt totally comfortable talking to them and I really did well in my interview.. I guess it just depends on who they are looking for.. I am a newbie fresh out of College.. with some personality .. if they are down alright.. I did my best in the interview so we will see how it goes.

I don't have any idea if this is what God wants me to do. I don't feel I am cut out for this line of work but the money is good... I kind of feel like Lenardo Decaperios Character Frank Wheeler from Revolutionary Road.. He is in a bind to pick where he wants to go.. and he picks the money.. which ultimentaly leads to a series of negetive events that I won't discuss on here because I am sure you want to see the movie..
I will see what happens there.. later..

I plan on working on my script soon.. it needs to be getting done so I can have something to work with.. I am still in pre writing stages.. rest assured it will be good though..

------------------------

My 22nd birthday was yesterday, it was a good time overall.. I had plans to take my lady out somewhere I wouldn't say just yet.. because it will probably happen sometime.. but ya she had a job interview which was alright.. I didn't have a lot of money to work with anyway.. She had a not so good morning..and I didn't even have a morning considering I woke up at about 12:30..

We visited her mom in hospital.. she had a procedure done.. she seemed okay.. just a little bit nautious.. anyway.. Ihop after that then Bill met up with us and we went to the Irish Pub place connected to Jillians..

Then we went to Texas Roadhouse to meet up with family and friends..
Then we went to Show Me's..

My girl was floating.. and I couldn't help but be a little concerned about her when I got home.. I was thinking unrealistically about things.. it was kinda awful and I don't know what happend.. She yelled out a scipture verse.. it was 1 Peter 3:7 which goes something like this

"You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex. Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings, and if you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not get ready answers"

Well regardless if she meant to yell that scripture out or not.. I read it and felt its power on me.. I felt pretty bad.. she isn't my wife per say.. but I felt as if I was to blame for her getting the way she did.. I didn't handle the whole situation as I should of.. for that I was sorry.. she was passed out.... I got down right there.. and just started praying..

She wasn't exactly herself.. she even said it a number of times that night..


There is usually a positive that comes out of every situation.. this was that I need to be more up to par on whats going on.. with those around me.. I need to be more watchful.. as a Christian..

They are love lights.. love lights.. are the things that really show you love someone.. doing whats best for them.. helping them find out whats best for them.. it could take work.. patience and a lot of time.. but in the end.. Love Lights really show just who you are.. and if you shine the lights.. people will see them.. this is true..

Love Her.
-----------------------------
So I am taking a Vacation from the internet.. not completely but I will be keeping my updates via computer.. and will update them later.. according to the date.. the only reason I will get on the internet.. is to check my status on job prospective via email..

Your Response: Your Crazy Kev-0 you are all about getting online..I know this is going to be tuff..

Well Ya.. thats the point.. My girl got me this book called a call to die.. Apparently from what I read so far its a die hard 40 day devotional.. so I am giving this internet thing up so I can focus more on it.. This is one big factor that distracts me from my God time.. so I am taking it out of the equation for the next 40 days.. I will be on my computer writing.. but like I said.. the internet as far as just email is all I will subject myself too.. everything else will be dropped including my Blogger..

We will see what comes out of this..
I got a strong will so I will make it though this no doubt..
But ya after today no internet..
I might start early..

God Bless..
See you in 40..

No I am not talking about the movie with Bernie Mac and Ashton Kootchar.. It was an okay movie.. But my mom loved it..

Anyway Guess Who.. you remember the Board Game? This game was pretty awesome in the 90's. I remember I might of been in second grade I would play this game a lot with classmates at good old South Elementary over there in Mt Carmel Illinois. The Game depending on two players.. you would ask a question and if it didn't match the criteria of the person chosen by the other player.. they eliminate him.. eventually it comes down to the last person.. it’s just a matter of who gets there first.. That is the game..

This game depends on two players.. and you are consistently acting on the other players actions.. meaning you are consistently looking for what they say or do to dictate your next move..

Let me ask you this..
What if in life you looked for what God says? What if you turned to God to see what He says and base your move off that?


Get comfortable..
This is a trip..

There is something I have left out of my updates.. and it is fallen in place now.. so I have to blog it.. Let’s go back to ... oh early January.. Refer to the 13th blog and we will settle in that time frame for now..

Me and Bill had became pretty good friends.. I was amazed at his faith so early in his journey.. He sent me his story.. and it was great.. there was someone involved in him coming to Christ.. I didn't know her.. but anyone who brings someone to Christ.. being used by God and all.. well at that point I thought well.. that is cool.. Good for this girl.. she must of really had an impact on him because he is changed and I see that big time.

Another impression I got was Bill was emotionally attracted to the one who brought him to the truth, made a lot of sense.. he told me he knew the girl since like 2 grade or something? Could be 3rd grade.. but that isn't the point.. the point is he has known this girl for a looong time.. she brought him to the truth.. and he felt the Lord come into his heart and make his stay there.. Yeah so I figured he might be a little attracted to her.. always talking about her and what not.. I scratched my head and just left it at that for now.. intrigued I was..

I did my thing.. and Eventually Bill would introduce me to one of the trio.. because he ran around with two girls.. one being her.. and another being Megan Day. One night he called me and invited me to Barnes N noble.. I was down.. so I made my way over there.. met Megan.. Had a good time talking to them that night.. and felt really good about what was happening here.. I was talking to people who were embracing what I had to say about God.. I was running solo outside of Church that I really didn't know to much what that was like.. Good time.. and Megan was a cool girl.. I was liking this duo.. but like i said this was a trio..

No other girl..she was out of the country? Its true.. I thought.. hmm.. thats.. interesting..
-----------
(Even Earlier.. Stay with me.. )
I know this girls sister.. I worked with her for the longest time.. and at one time she was really attracted to me.. The Jerk Kevin...I didn't act on that to much.. I didn't know how I felt about it.. but after I was born again I started to talk more to the sister.. Tab was a character and it was when I started embracing Christ that I saw she was pretty awesome.. I actually witnessed to her late September on Aim.. but she was already a Christian..

We saw Nick and Nora’s Infinite Play list.. I made a phone call to Tabs sister.. didn't know who she was really at that time..Tab didn't talk much about her.. or any of her family for that much.. but she was worried so I played worried Kevin and made a call to her.. didn't think too much of it.. it was just funny for the moment.. I always wanted to meet the family.. but Tab didn't like that much.. I don't think she like me figuring her out.. trying to piece stuff together and just help her.. I met her mom, her brother.. no sister though.. saw pictures.. never talked to her though.. I even thought about adding her on face book back then.. but I just said eh.. nah..

-------------------

Sorry I just felt that will help my story hold some more water..
Back to January..

I guess Bill started talking to about me to this girl.. I was getting deep with Bill.. letting out all I knew to him.. my journey.. how far I came.. and what God has taught me over the past 6 months.. She got word..and so I get on face book and there is the friend request from her.. LaDawn McGinnis.. There was some anticipation upon doing it.. I accepted and then... She messaged me.. almost 2 mins after..

I can't recall what the exact conversation was.. it was loooong at least an hour maybe hour and half
Something like "So you must be this Kevin that my friends are talking about or something"

I was completely nice and honest the whole time.. and we just talked.. she told me her story in a nutshell.. and what not.. and I just briefly let her in on my stuff.. nothing to deep... but I was really intrigued to meet her after this.. she talked just like me.. and I couldn't believe some of the things the closely resembled me.. that was in her.. something was up here.. but I didn't jump the gun on anything... I am defiantly not the guy to do that..

Her and Bill went to see a movie and that is when I met her.. I saw her.. she was wearing that orange jacket and that hat.. that hat was something else.. I liked it.. I liked her look.. she caught my eye.. and I actually got nervous.. which I mean happens..but this was different.. like.. I was having trouble being me.. it was a setback that didn't come about too often.. something is going on here.. I played it off alright .. no one expected anything.. We hit up some food and the three of us got to talking.. and clicked.. the four of us together clicked even better.. it was a safe bet that God joined the four of us together for a reason.. I embraced it.. but that isn't all that happened..

My emotions were scoring and it was like I almost couldn't control them.. A party inside my body... just wanting to come out.. the party stayed under wraps.. I barely knew this girl.. I wasn't about to just poor myself out. .. on some feelings that might just be uhh short lived..

I played it so well.. I almost had myself convinced.. no that didn't happen.. these feelings only came stronger.. the more I hung out with her.. the connections.. I didn't say what we connected on.. but seriously.. it was a lot of things.. I continued to keep my mouth shut about it.. I was a supporting friend to her .. I challenged her .. I helped her where she was sticking.. and I listened.. oh how I love to listen to her.. We went to Denny's one night the whole group and I just couldn't believe what she was saying.. Things I thought.. things I did.. IT WAS ALL TO MUCH!

My facial expressions were almost as if I had saw a ghost.. I never feel this way.. but this is different.. still kept my mouth shut..If I open up and she denies.. well I don't know how the friendship would end up.. and she is worth keeping as a friend for sure.. so no.. I didn't let out how I feel..

One night I ended up at her house solo.. Bill and Megan had both split and I was just there with her.. haha I laugh right now because Kevin Catt pulled a great performance as the uninterested good friend.. oh man.. as much as I didn't want to do it.. I wasn't budging .. not yet.. I still didn't know what this was..

Then I thought about it.. I said to myself.. just make it known that you are friends.. take it out of the picture completely..

I know what you are thinking.. pretty crazy right? lol no doubt it was a bold move.. and I did it.. I actually started talking about Female Social Dynamics.. how woman act and what they are attracted to.. I learned on this in Magic Bullets and Mystery Method.. following it up I explained the Friend Zone.. and how its usually impossible for a guy to date a girl that he has been friends with because the girl doesn't want to risk the good friend relationship if it doesn't work out.. So I plugged us in there.. and she was like ya.. I payed real close attention.. to everything after that moment.. when I said it.. if I saw any indicator of interest.. oh boy.. I might of said something.. but.. besides her squint .. and slightly dimmed smile.. I got nothing..

I talked with her some more.. we talked for awhile.. but then I told myself I need to get out of here.. so I left.. Went to work.. and really was troubled by it..

I was thinking all through my shift..
"This isn't good, I got to get over this"
"This is actually throwing me off, I am distracted with this over God"

I did some serious praying when I got home..
"GOD listen.. I have developed strong feelings for this girl, they have came out of nowhere and they are really throwing me for a loop, please get rid of them if they shouldn't be there.. if somehow we are met to be.. I’ll leave it to you to make it happen.. i have already through myself in the friend zone.. so it isn't going to be my doing.. it will be yours.. that way .. if we are together.. it will be because you brought us together.. not any selfish ambition that I might have.."

I prayed this prayer.. a lot.. and the feelings didn't go away.. they GREW STRONGER! .. so something is going to happen I feel.. still I didn't budge.. God works on his watch.. I just didn't know when..

I typed a letter.. it was a stretch.. but I knew if we came together.. that would be awesome.. to give her the letter.. way before we found each other.. that way she knew it was God.. and not just me..

I kept it in my wallet.. for a few..

It just didn't make sense that its to happen in this time frame.. she had a boyfriend and she played it off pretty good that she liked him.. didn't have everyone fooled and my feelings were still there... I didn't get real jealous over it.. I knew in my head that something was going to happen..

Another night me and LaDawn would find ourselves at my spot.. the spot were I can really tune out of what is going on in this world and tune into God.. I started talking about a movie I wanted to shoot.. a short film about the Narrow path.. I asked if she was a good actress.. well I acted like a non believer and started trying to get her to witness to me..

she did alright.. It was pretty good.. I loved it.. I thought.. what a good friend.. this friendship is awesome.. We went to I hop and you know what.. I clued.. just a little.. I said I wanted to be with someone who was like myself.. ambition.. to serve God’s will.. she looked at me.. said ya.. and then at one time she said sorry? I was like why? no need to be sorry that's just what I am looking for.. I thought to myself.. What is going on God.. ? Just what do you have planned honestly..

I'm at work on a Thursday night.. and I get word that she has broken up with her Boyfriend.. hmm.. I thought about it.. and I was like.. eh you know I am still going to stay silent.. God is going to do it if it’s to be done..

So we go to Ihop that night..and I play various games with her.. trust game.. starring contests.. thing about was just me wanting to look into her beautiful blue eyes.. To imagine good.. and to keep my face level I would picture bad.. lol I did a good proposal impression.. Really good actually.. we were actually acting out a scene..

Me and LaDawn and Billy left there hours later and went for a looong drive.. and what was going through my head.. how much I just wanted to let this girl know.. that I want to try and be with her.. I want to help her grow.. I want to be in a relationship with her.. I didn't really budge..

God then took matters into his own hands..I acted out the scene where I ask a girl to marry me.. it was actually her sister.. tab... lol it was funny.. everyone laughed.. then Billy stopped to get gas.. and I was alone with her again.. just thinking.. I asked her something.. and then Billy came back and said out of nowhere "You guys like each other huh?" I chocked ... internally.. the cat was out of the bag now.. but she didn't respond.. My acting was good on the marrying thing but Billy kind of saw through it I guess.. so to kill this moment I said "We were just acting Bill"

He said Do it again

So we did.. This time.. I put my heart into it.. she accepted.. as Tab.. and I just asked for a kiss.. but she didn't do it.. finally we get to wesselmens and I turned around in the front seat and said..

"I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT LADAWN, WE ARE MET FOR EACH OTHER... THIS IS IT.. SO WHY DON'T WE JUST TRY THIS... LADAWN THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED.. THIS IS MET TO BE... I KNOW YOU GET IT... "

She was not breathing.. or at least that is what it seemed like .. she smiled and nodded yes.. at that point... I was in deep thanks to the Lord.. He showed us what was up a lot sooner than I thought.. I kissed her.. and laid with her.. Her only objection was Megan.. who had a crush on me.. but I didn't like her that way.. I was her friend.. and I love her as a friend.. but LaDawn.. she is it.. I really believe that.. and time will show it..

God came through.. and now we are together..

Guess who? LaDawn Michelle McGinnis

That’s my side.. she has her own that connects this.. I am not going to tell it though.. maybe she will.. that be tight..

God Bless..Thanks for Reading
Much Love.

I watched this video oh probably like 3 or 4 months ago...
I hit it again today..take some time to watch this.. its INTENSE!

I love posting God sightings.. so lets make this entry short and sweet with two..

Number one: as of lately I have really been talking to God.. especially at night before I go to bed.. or should I say morning.. because lets face it.. your boy is usually up all night either working.. reading.. or on this thing telling you about this race I am running.. So yeah lets take it back last week..

Sometimes when I really want to extend my voice to God.. I go outside in my backyard.. its not your traditional down on your knees and pray... but its more of a hey God is right here.. and me and Him are just chatting.. so I go out there.. I speak my mind to God.. seriously.. everything tends to flow out..

One night a bit ago I just looked up and said it " God I'm doing this.. its on.. and there are no breaks.. I am going out there.. and I will serve your will.. I am going to go back to school.. get what I need to get.. and Go.. and if this is it.. Lord.. just help get there..


My words went something like that.. and this is after I was praying day in and day out for me to have a hunger for Gods will and direction and guidance..God knows I want this.. he knows whats holding me back too.. that money..

So I just threw that out there.. so catch this in your glove.. I AM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.. WITH A 50% discount + ... It could be cheaper but right now thats where I stand..

Oh yeah.. and my credits from ITT transfer over.. so I won't have to be there to long...

CAN YOU SAY GOD SIGHTING!
I sure can and I will.. "GOD SIGHTING, HELLO MCFLY.. GOD JUST ANSWERED YOUR PRAYER PLUS SOME!"

God is working though my uncle Frank Shane.. I tell you what I heard that tonight.. and I was just like.. puzzled.. you love that click.. and you know what I am talking about.. The Click is when God does something.. and later on it Clicks.. and you know God had is hand in it.. You def know the Click when you see the Click..

So I am starting back ASAP.. like maybe March.. I can't wait for this.. ITS ON!
Thanks Lord for that one.. ;-)

-----------------

Number deuce: Yeah my uncle Jeff.. who most of my family has been praying for.. for a LONG time.. He is an alcoholic.. and he drinks on his medications.. it isn't good.. I got stories.. but not here.. anyway.. I took Lipko Senior to court a couple of days ago and his date has been moved to March 5th, I told him to take the Dads card right there.. which is like a probation / class thing .. But he was concerned what medications he wouldn't be able to take.. plus he didn't know if he was eligible.. His reason for court was DUI.. oh boy my first thought was..

"Hmmm God.. just what are you up to here?"
Then another piece of the puzzle came.. a lady was talking to Senior Jeff.. and she says "Well sir some of your medications will not be able to be consumed while in the dads program.."

So on top of no alcohol he can't have some of the mind altering meds..
HELLO MCFLY GOD SIGHTING!

This is the picture I get.. God is slowly pushing Jeff into a corner.. eventually Jeff is going to submit to whats right.. GET RIGHT WITH GOD.. and I believe his life will change..

Not only that The Lord has been working through me to get this message across.. so much so that the other night right as I was walking out the door.. some dialog came up..

Hey Beau, maybe once I start getting better me and you can have a bible study once a week... I think I am going to start going to church too.. and just set up in the balcony..
I also here this a lot.. Beau man.. I need to change..


These are all signs.. and every once in a while i say..
Do you want to come to Christ now?
He says
No I am not ready..


God works.. God works more then any of us could know.. these are just two examples..

Pray for my Uncle please.. if you can ;-)
God Bless
about 4 hours till work..

I don't care though.. God sightings need to be addressed .. quick! hah

I think people often take it for granted how well we have it here in the United States.. I can include myself in that area.. I completely take for granted sometimes my rights.. and me being able to speak my mind about anything.. I don't have to fear persecution ..

Seems like almost everywhere else it is a whole new ballgame..
A little while ago a read a book called Revolution in World Missions.. K.P Yohannan wrote it..

K.P is the director for the Gospel for Asia.. they have more then 16,500 national missionaries.. they operate 54 bible colleges in several nations and heads up a church-planting movement that has planted more then 29,000 congregations..
Intense.. Awesome..

The Book is a narrative on K.P's life.. and is defiantly movie material.. make this into a movie.. I would watch it.. probably again and again.. it is that good..

Back to my point though.. really got me thinking about the third world.. how lot of people don't even know Jesus, the Gospel.. the Truth.. and the things believers put themselves through to go and spread the word... that is amazing..

-----------

Its intense lifestyle..
Shoot I'm all for living on the edge..
It's kinda reminds me of my skating days..

I want you to picture this in your mind..

Here we got a 30 stair handrail.. the rail comes up about 3 ft off the ground.. you approach the rail from the side.. you jump.. your skates cling onto the rail.. your left foot crosses the rail and points right.. while your right foot is pointing straight out.. your soul intact to the rail.. You are on.. and only because it was all or nothing getting there..

My point is.. you can't approach a handrail and just do 50% of the work you need to do.. you will actually hurt yourself worse then 5% or 10% effort. at least with that low of effort you can catch yourself and break the fall.. no if you do 50% and are up there.. you are going to come down HARD.. its going to hurt.. and it might make life difficult for you the next 6-8 weeks..

Same thing with the believers in a society that condemns Christ.. Its all or nothing.. you got to make it count.. and fast..because who knows when you are going to be on the run..
My blessings to all those people.. who risk there lives for what they know is Truth.. Christ is our Savior.. and He will be back for all of us.. fo sho!
--------------------
Christ is definatly doing a number on my Uncle.. Jeff gets a DUI.. by March there will be NO DRINKING..and possibily NO MEDICATIONS.. whats a he going to do?

Hoping he will turn to Christ.. and come back to him..
I am also hoping he was serious about me coming over and doing a Bible Study once a week.. That would be grand for him and myself.. no doubt..


Thats all for now.. Keep the Faith..
God Bless

I am not going to to lie..
I am a little stressed..

I am stressed about getting a new job..
Paying bills that are past due..
Stressed about my new job working out for me..

God sending it my way though.. so I have to act on it..

I can't wait till I go back to school.. for something I really Love doing.. heh