Running The Race

No I am not talking about the movie with Bernie Mac and Ashton Kootchar.. It was an okay movie.. But my mom loved it..

Anyway Guess Who.. you remember the Board Game? This game was pretty awesome in the 90's. I remember I might of been in second grade I would play this game a lot with classmates at good old South Elementary over there in Mt Carmel Illinois. The Game depending on two players.. you would ask a question and if it didn't match the criteria of the person chosen by the other player.. they eliminate him.. eventually it comes down to the last person.. it’s just a matter of who gets there first.. That is the game..

This game depends on two players.. and you are consistently acting on the other players actions.. meaning you are consistently looking for what they say or do to dictate your next move..

Let me ask you this..
What if in life you looked for what God says? What if you turned to God to see what He says and base your move off that?


Get comfortable..
This is a trip..

There is something I have left out of my updates.. and it is fallen in place now.. so I have to blog it.. Let’s go back to ... oh early January.. Refer to the 13th blog and we will settle in that time frame for now..

Me and Bill had became pretty good friends.. I was amazed at his faith so early in his journey.. He sent me his story.. and it was great.. there was someone involved in him coming to Christ.. I didn't know her.. but anyone who brings someone to Christ.. being used by God and all.. well at that point I thought well.. that is cool.. Good for this girl.. she must of really had an impact on him because he is changed and I see that big time.

Another impression I got was Bill was emotionally attracted to the one who brought him to the truth, made a lot of sense.. he told me he knew the girl since like 2 grade or something? Could be 3rd grade.. but that isn't the point.. the point is he has known this girl for a looong time.. she brought him to the truth.. and he felt the Lord come into his heart and make his stay there.. Yeah so I figured he might be a little attracted to her.. always talking about her and what not.. I scratched my head and just left it at that for now.. intrigued I was..

I did my thing.. and Eventually Bill would introduce me to one of the trio.. because he ran around with two girls.. one being her.. and another being Megan Day. One night he called me and invited me to Barnes N noble.. I was down.. so I made my way over there.. met Megan.. Had a good time talking to them that night.. and felt really good about what was happening here.. I was talking to people who were embracing what I had to say about God.. I was running solo outside of Church that I really didn't know to much what that was like.. Good time.. and Megan was a cool girl.. I was liking this duo.. but like i said this was a trio..

No other girl..she was out of the country? Its true.. I thought.. hmm.. thats.. interesting..
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(Even Earlier.. Stay with me.. )
I know this girls sister.. I worked with her for the longest time.. and at one time she was really attracted to me.. The Jerk Kevin...I didn't act on that to much.. I didn't know how I felt about it.. but after I was born again I started to talk more to the sister.. Tab was a character and it was when I started embracing Christ that I saw she was pretty awesome.. I actually witnessed to her late September on Aim.. but she was already a Christian..

We saw Nick and Nora’s Infinite Play list.. I made a phone call to Tabs sister.. didn't know who she was really at that time..Tab didn't talk much about her.. or any of her family for that much.. but she was worried so I played worried Kevin and made a call to her.. didn't think too much of it.. it was just funny for the moment.. I always wanted to meet the family.. but Tab didn't like that much.. I don't think she like me figuring her out.. trying to piece stuff together and just help her.. I met her mom, her brother.. no sister though.. saw pictures.. never talked to her though.. I even thought about adding her on face book back then.. but I just said eh.. nah..

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Sorry I just felt that will help my story hold some more water..
Back to January..

I guess Bill started talking to about me to this girl.. I was getting deep with Bill.. letting out all I knew to him.. my journey.. how far I came.. and what God has taught me over the past 6 months.. She got word..and so I get on face book and there is the friend request from her.. LaDawn McGinnis.. There was some anticipation upon doing it.. I accepted and then... She messaged me.. almost 2 mins after..

I can't recall what the exact conversation was.. it was loooong at least an hour maybe hour and half
Something like "So you must be this Kevin that my friends are talking about or something"

I was completely nice and honest the whole time.. and we just talked.. she told me her story in a nutshell.. and what not.. and I just briefly let her in on my stuff.. nothing to deep... but I was really intrigued to meet her after this.. she talked just like me.. and I couldn't believe some of the things the closely resembled me.. that was in her.. something was up here.. but I didn't jump the gun on anything... I am defiantly not the guy to do that..

Her and Bill went to see a movie and that is when I met her.. I saw her.. she was wearing that orange jacket and that hat.. that hat was something else.. I liked it.. I liked her look.. she caught my eye.. and I actually got nervous.. which I mean happens..but this was different.. like.. I was having trouble being me.. it was a setback that didn't come about too often.. something is going on here.. I played it off alright .. no one expected anything.. We hit up some food and the three of us got to talking.. and clicked.. the four of us together clicked even better.. it was a safe bet that God joined the four of us together for a reason.. I embraced it.. but that isn't all that happened..

My emotions were scoring and it was like I almost couldn't control them.. A party inside my body... just wanting to come out.. the party stayed under wraps.. I barely knew this girl.. I wasn't about to just poor myself out. .. on some feelings that might just be uhh short lived..

I played it so well.. I almost had myself convinced.. no that didn't happen.. these feelings only came stronger.. the more I hung out with her.. the connections.. I didn't say what we connected on.. but seriously.. it was a lot of things.. I continued to keep my mouth shut about it.. I was a supporting friend to her .. I challenged her .. I helped her where she was sticking.. and I listened.. oh how I love to listen to her.. We went to Denny's one night the whole group and I just couldn't believe what she was saying.. Things I thought.. things I did.. IT WAS ALL TO MUCH!

My facial expressions were almost as if I had saw a ghost.. I never feel this way.. but this is different.. still kept my mouth shut..If I open up and she denies.. well I don't know how the friendship would end up.. and she is worth keeping as a friend for sure.. so no.. I didn't let out how I feel..

One night I ended up at her house solo.. Bill and Megan had both split and I was just there with her.. haha I laugh right now because Kevin Catt pulled a great performance as the uninterested good friend.. oh man.. as much as I didn't want to do it.. I wasn't budging .. not yet.. I still didn't know what this was..

Then I thought about it.. I said to myself.. just make it known that you are friends.. take it out of the picture completely..

I know what you are thinking.. pretty crazy right? lol no doubt it was a bold move.. and I did it.. I actually started talking about Female Social Dynamics.. how woman act and what they are attracted to.. I learned on this in Magic Bullets and Mystery Method.. following it up I explained the Friend Zone.. and how its usually impossible for a guy to date a girl that he has been friends with because the girl doesn't want to risk the good friend relationship if it doesn't work out.. So I plugged us in there.. and she was like ya.. I payed real close attention.. to everything after that moment.. when I said it.. if I saw any indicator of interest.. oh boy.. I might of said something.. but.. besides her squint .. and slightly dimmed smile.. I got nothing..

I talked with her some more.. we talked for awhile.. but then I told myself I need to get out of here.. so I left.. Went to work.. and really was troubled by it..

I was thinking all through my shift..
"This isn't good, I got to get over this"
"This is actually throwing me off, I am distracted with this over God"

I did some serious praying when I got home..
"GOD listen.. I have developed strong feelings for this girl, they have came out of nowhere and they are really throwing me for a loop, please get rid of them if they shouldn't be there.. if somehow we are met to be.. I’ll leave it to you to make it happen.. i have already through myself in the friend zone.. so it isn't going to be my doing.. it will be yours.. that way .. if we are together.. it will be because you brought us together.. not any selfish ambition that I might have.."

I prayed this prayer.. a lot.. and the feelings didn't go away.. they GREW STRONGER! .. so something is going to happen I feel.. still I didn't budge.. God works on his watch.. I just didn't know when..

I typed a letter.. it was a stretch.. but I knew if we came together.. that would be awesome.. to give her the letter.. way before we found each other.. that way she knew it was God.. and not just me..

I kept it in my wallet.. for a few..

It just didn't make sense that its to happen in this time frame.. she had a boyfriend and she played it off pretty good that she liked him.. didn't have everyone fooled and my feelings were still there... I didn't get real jealous over it.. I knew in my head that something was going to happen..

Another night me and LaDawn would find ourselves at my spot.. the spot were I can really tune out of what is going on in this world and tune into God.. I started talking about a movie I wanted to shoot.. a short film about the Narrow path.. I asked if she was a good actress.. well I acted like a non believer and started trying to get her to witness to me..

she did alright.. It was pretty good.. I loved it.. I thought.. what a good friend.. this friendship is awesome.. We went to I hop and you know what.. I clued.. just a little.. I said I wanted to be with someone who was like myself.. ambition.. to serve God’s will.. she looked at me.. said ya.. and then at one time she said sorry? I was like why? no need to be sorry that's just what I am looking for.. I thought to myself.. What is going on God.. ? Just what do you have planned honestly..

I'm at work on a Thursday night.. and I get word that she has broken up with her Boyfriend.. hmm.. I thought about it.. and I was like.. eh you know I am still going to stay silent.. God is going to do it if it’s to be done..

So we go to Ihop that night..and I play various games with her.. trust game.. starring contests.. thing about was just me wanting to look into her beautiful blue eyes.. To imagine good.. and to keep my face level I would picture bad.. lol I did a good proposal impression.. Really good actually.. we were actually acting out a scene..

Me and LaDawn and Billy left there hours later and went for a looong drive.. and what was going through my head.. how much I just wanted to let this girl know.. that I want to try and be with her.. I want to help her grow.. I want to be in a relationship with her.. I didn't really budge..

God then took matters into his own hands..I acted out the scene where I ask a girl to marry me.. it was actually her sister.. tab... lol it was funny.. everyone laughed.. then Billy stopped to get gas.. and I was alone with her again.. just thinking.. I asked her something.. and then Billy came back and said out of nowhere "You guys like each other huh?" I chocked ... internally.. the cat was out of the bag now.. but she didn't respond.. My acting was good on the marrying thing but Billy kind of saw through it I guess.. so to kill this moment I said "We were just acting Bill"

He said Do it again

So we did.. This time.. I put my heart into it.. she accepted.. as Tab.. and I just asked for a kiss.. but she didn't do it.. finally we get to wesselmens and I turned around in the front seat and said..

"I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT LADAWN, WE ARE MET FOR EACH OTHER... THIS IS IT.. SO WHY DON'T WE JUST TRY THIS... LADAWN THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED.. THIS IS MET TO BE... I KNOW YOU GET IT... "

She was not breathing.. or at least that is what it seemed like .. she smiled and nodded yes.. at that point... I was in deep thanks to the Lord.. He showed us what was up a lot sooner than I thought.. I kissed her.. and laid with her.. Her only objection was Megan.. who had a crush on me.. but I didn't like her that way.. I was her friend.. and I love her as a friend.. but LaDawn.. she is it.. I really believe that.. and time will show it..

God came through.. and now we are together..

Guess who? LaDawn Michelle McGinnis

That’s my side.. she has her own that connects this.. I am not going to tell it though.. maybe she will.. that be tight..

God Bless..Thanks for Reading
Much Love.